Friday, July 22, 2011

The One Where My Thoughts Come Rushing Towards You In A Horrifying Torrent.

I'm going to attempt to not comment on the weather, since we all know that it is hotter than satan's taint out there.  115 heat index here today.  

What I will comment on is - despite the evidence right SMACK in front of their noses (aka, the burning hot steering wheel, all vegetation burnt, food prices soaring) people are still not standing up for our Earth.  If I hear one more person deny global warming while sweat drips down the front of them I may have to re examine my "harm none" policy.  The Mister and I were discussing this last night and he said despite recycling containers being placed around his work, some people don't use them "on principle".

"On what FUCKING principle would that be, other than being an assmonkey?"
"Calm down.  *I* use them.  I'm just saying that some people don't, to make a point."
"To make the point that their mothers should have drown them at birth?  I'm not getting this."
"You know how people are, they think if they vote Republican then they should be against all that, Obama, etc."
"Do you shoot them?  Or maybe just Taser them.  One way or another, these people need the stupid knocked out of them."
"Yes, I shoot them.  For not recycling."
"Well it would certainly start working on overpopulation"

It's true, we solve many a world problem in our little house.

Our little house.  I'm trying to do grand things there.  I need to work on the interior, to get it all Mama-fabulous, so when I'm holed up in there during the winter dreaming about my garden, I can at least do it in a pretty place.  
Mooch will be back from vacation tomorrow and while I have missed her terribly, as has Butterbean and Daddy, the feeling is not mutual.  She could barely be convinced to come to the phone to talk to us, what with being on the boat within 5 ft of dolphins, swimming at the beach, and running my parents around like crazy. (SUCKAAAAHHHSSSS!!!)
And ... she is coming back to ... drum roll please ....
a completely re-vamped room!

OK, maybe not completely re-vamped - but I did paint one wall purple, her favorite color, and my artistically talented friend is coming over tonight to add a little flair to it.  I also got a gauzy canopy for her bed, and painted the little chair to match her vanity, and did some other cute stuff.  Pics to come soon.
When I envision the rest of the house, I see this -

Sigh.  One day.  Until then I'm re-working rooms one by one, trying to breathe a little more life into them.

The Mister has developed some sort of allergy to eggs, we think.  He has gotten violently ill the last 2 times he has had them, with me and the kids having the same eggs and feeling fine.  Have you ever heard of someone developing a food allergy at 40?  He has a doctors appointment next week to be referred to a gastroentorologist.  

Oh, and these little bastards have found my squash

The lovely squash bug.  I picked a zucchini the other day and it was covered with baby squash bugs, which made me shudder and squeal and throw the poor zucchini violently to the ground.  Which of course made no sense and probably let the little buggers crawl over to the next squash and keep going.  I'm not good at being surprised like that. *tangent time*

I had bought a bag of mulch at Home Despot and thrown it on the lawn next to the tree I was planning to mulch around until I got the kids to bed.  Got the kids down to nap, and came out to start working.  Picked up the bag of mulch and something fell off the back - a BABY BLACK SNAKE.  It was dead, it's little head crushed - so I must have thrown the bag right on it.  Ooops.  I personally am terrified of snakes but I would never intentionally hurt one.  
I took a shovel and flicked the snake into the street - then realized, if this was a baby, then potentially mama snake was somewhere nearby.  But I had to mulch around that damn tree.  I did the only logical thing you can do - I took a rake and poked it all around the base of the tree to make sure there were no more, then very tentatively started spreading the mulch and weeding, all the while ready to bolt if I saw any slithery things.  I was just about to reach for a weed when something moved, which later turned out to be one of my daylily leaves - and at the same time someone down the street slammed a car door.  I screamed and ran off my own lawn, into the street.  SEE???  No sense.  

In my defense, this post was labeled appropriately.


  1. You are friggin' hilarious!

    My biblethumpingassholeneighbor and I got into a huge arguement over recycling at which point she advised that it is not her "religious practice" to love the Earth.

    I ripped into her like a monkey in a cupcake and that 40 something year old hag walked away from me. I had to practically be physically restrained (who me?)

    I love the pics of your dream house, especially the tree inside. Do I dare dream?

    As for snakes and stink bugs. Snakes make me so scared I literally freeze up and can't scream. Stink bugs just gross me out.

    As for the hot as Hades weather, I know I'm evil and all that shit, but I'm just not ready for hell yet. I have much more fabulousness to spread on Mother punching Republican douchbags in the throat.

    Angry much? (that was to me not you btw)

  2. aaaah yes...the recycling thing. When we arrived in florida over a year ago I was shocked to find out they have no recycling program! omg wth!?! So I asked...what do we do with our recycling items then? The answer was...throw them away. Minnesota had a well organized recycling program which we happily adhearded was wonderful. So I searched for recycling dumpsters...there are 2 that i found. I visited one and it was half empty with mostly broken furniture and garbage. :( uggggg People aren't going to be happy until we end of up just losing the earth as a place to live. As for snakes?? Once i find one, i'm on snake alert then and everything that moves i'm freaking over. lol

  3. I have had that argument myself (recycling).. amazes me how people can ravage the planet and then wonder why we have heatwaves like this. I'm a snake-lover and rescuer. Mama snakes don't care for their babies like that, btw. If you see him like that, he's on his own. They hatch the babies and the babies are on their own to survive. Love your posts like this!

  4. Montana has a "voluntary" recycling program. We have to collect up all our recyclables (well, the minimum things that are recyclable) and drive them 10 miles to a place where there are bins that are often full. The excuse is that it costs too much money to haul the stuff to a recycling center somewhere. Makes me a tidge crazy.
    And I do so LOVE the dream-house photos. We could all add a little more magick to our homes and relinquish this bland suburban mode of decorating where we die of terminal beige... lol

  5. Wisconsin's governor has recently passed a budget that no longer makes it mandatory for some towns to maintain recycling programs. The only thing I can do is be proud that I didn't vote for him and continue picking up cans when I see them on the street.

  6. Thank Goddess our recycling program is still going strong. The blue bin is free and they pick it up twice a month. I stuff that thing silly and put ring reminders on my ghetto phone to remind me to take it out. People who don't recycle because of (dumb) politics give me a rash.

  7. Oh Lydia, I just love you. You have me rolling on the floor laughing. The incident with the daylily leaf and car door is so something I would do.

    Unfortunately, we are not allowed to shoot, taser or slap stupid out of people. (big sigh) They are afraid that once we started we would never stop because there are so many dumb asses out there. We will just keep doing our part and tongue lashing the morons who think the earth is their personal dumping ground with endless resources. I like to send "evil eyes" out as well.

    I love your visions for your home. Someday for me as well, sweetie. Have a wonderful week and thank you for your lovely visits to my blog. You are a true treasure in this world!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...