Lobster Injustice, or Why I Am Now Boycotting Goodwill

First of all, I lost a follower.  Could it be that I have been crap about updating ... perhaps. 

So my good friend Das Bich (that would be The Bitch in German, this is an affectionate term) has got a case of the sads right now.  Her husband, The German, is interviewing for jobs in Germany since he can't find a good one here, and there is a possibility of him moving back. 
Yesterday I went to Goodwill to drop off a bunch of crap stuff I cleaned out of our spare room.  For some reason I walked in the front and then had to walk all the way through the store to get to where you drop stuff off.  And there he was - a 5 ft long stuffed lobster, draped over a toddler bed and staring at me, clearly saying, Buy me, I am only 4 freaking dollars.

1st foot of lobster - $1
2nd foot - $1
3rd foot - $1
4th foot - $1
5th foot - FREEEEEEE!!!!!

This was during my lunch break from work, and I walked over from my building, so I hauled him to the front and paid for him and then told them I would pick him up later.  I mean, what better way to tell a dear friend, "I care about you and support you during this difficult time" by anonymously leaving a giant stuffed lobster on their doorstep?!?!

I dashed back in the car after work to pick him up before picking up Mooch from school.  Front of the store - he wasn't there.  Annoyingly brain-dead employee says someone must have put him in the back - then the manager comes up and says, "No, we sold him.  There was no sold tag on it"
The FUCK??
How do you just sell someones stuffed lobster out from under them?  WHO DOES THAT?
Idiot saleboy apologizes, says "I guess you want your money back", and then offers a badly dressed panda in its place.  Like there could even be a comparison.
This, my friends, is the start of war.

Colleen from Cheap Wine and Cookies won the mystery bug contest, and will be receiving a pretty amazing Halloween themed package from me.  So Colleen, PM me your address, social security #, bra size, 1st grade teacher's name, and if you want to get in on a pretty sweet deal with this Saudi prince who's going to give me a lot of $$$, all your bank info.

The big reveeeeaaaalll ...

Hey all.  It's been an insane week - my mom's birthday (guess who volunteered to cook?), we're in the process of buying a new car - well, new to us anyway; big event this weekend, and then just for fun I got pulled into a project by my old boss.  A project working on something I love, but also a project that had to be done flawlessly or else I would have been messing with a lot of BIG important people's BIG money. No pressure, right?  It's just money! (gulp)
Right in the middle of muddling my way through, complete with chewing of fingernails and pulling of hair, my computer screen freezes.  F$#^.  For 5 minutes I tried everything I could think of (i.e., I unplugged it, then plugged it back in) Nada.  Starting to panic.  Starting to envision people I work with figuring out that I have no idea what I'm doing.  Starting to envision my babies in rags, living under a highway overpass somewhere, because Mama couldn't pull this off.
You stupid m&%#%f&** machine, cut the s#@! and start working right f#$%ing now!
At this point the mild mannered professor who I didn't know was working in his office quietly pulled his door shut.
F*&^.
Luckily I got invited into old boss' shwanky-shwank-shwank office and got to work there for the day.  Their computers work, without requisite swearing.  It was magical.

Anyway, before all that, Mooch returned home last weekend and I got to reveal her re-vamped room to her.  She looooooves it.  


Here it is before - ok all that crap on the bed isn't usually there, I was prepping to paint and had taken stuff down, and then realized I should probably take a "before" shot.  How bad is that white wicker shelf?

This is her little wicker vanity, and a chair I found at Goodwill that I've been meaning to re-do.

And, after!

I still have to sew a little cushion for the chair, but I'm so happy that it matches the vanity now.  To the left, on the footboard of her bed, I hung up a little organizer for all of her cards from friends and other stuff that tends to get lost.

Because her room is so tiny, I like to minimize how much she has hanging up so it doesn't look too cluttered.
Speaking of cluttered, she loves purses.  The child owns probably 20, and they are all stuffed with her junk treasures that she refuses to get rid of.  
Solution?

I screwed hooks into the side of her bookshelf so she could keep them hung up and out of the way.  I also added a hook to the shelf above her vanity, to hang up her favorite necklaces.  I went hook crazy.  I'm a crazy hooker.

Butterbean checking it out.
My artistically talented friend, Mrs. German, (name has been changed to protect the not-so-innocent) added this, since Mooch's favorite movie is "The Princess Bride"

How amazing is that?!?!
Be well ....

Sweaty Betty

I've just done a lunch time mad dash to Goodwill for some treasure hunting, and returned with a bag o' loot!
  Today's temp is hovering in the high 80's, and the humidity is approximately 1 kajillion percent.  The kind of weather where *no one* (I mean me) can possibly look presentable for more than 5 minutes. 

I am sweating like, well ... me in church*  As I walked back with sweat rolling down my face, soaking my hair, and surely making happy lil' smile imprints on my pants below my butt cheeks, I had to wonder : am I a sweaty freak?  Do I do this every year when it gets hot?  I think I may need to lay the blame on genes.  I'm a mutt really, but predominately French, German, and Irish.  Think brisk temperatures, wind-swept tundra, rocky forbidding shores.  Not blazing sun and stifling humidity.  I also burn and then freckle in the sun, so I avoid it if possible.  Right now I have a farmer tan from working in the garden in tank tops - my shoulders and upper back are a deep caramel, and the rest of me is fish-belly white.  The lovely shade where you can see all my veins and whether or not I shaved my legs this morning.
No, we are not a hot-weather people ... although I do retain fat very well (making me especially hardy through lean winters), I have broad shoulders (I could probably pull a plow after the horse gets tired), and I do possess the famous child bearing hips.  Thanks ancestors.
Oh, and the fabulous treasures have me in a crafty mood.  The crafting gods hit me with a fantastic idea on my walk back, and I will be posting about that in days to come.  Stay cool, chickens!

*Disclaimer - the last time I set foot in church, the whole bloody place went up in flames, so this is a hypothetical situation.  

More Stuff

Either my home computer is being a dirty tramp or Blogger is, I can't figure out which one.  I have a whole bunch of pictures I wanted to upload, but it was being weird.  Anyway, I wanted to show you what kind of awesomeness can be found at Goodwill for $1.  ^^  My lily-of-the-valley, my favorite flower, came up huge this year, but is being crowded out by my lemon balm.  One teensy little lemon balm plant has completely taken over my 8 ft bed on the shady side of our house, so I think I have to get mean with it and cut it wayyy back.  A few stalks in my cute new owl vase, with lamb's ear and some petunia cuttings.  

Sigh.  I got trimmer-happy with my hydrangeas this year.  They had tons of little buds, and a few remaining dried-up blooms from last year.  So like a fool I hacked off all of last year's blooms, and all of the new buds promptly dropped off.  One of these days I'll learn to trust Mother Nature to take care of any tidying.  The middle structure has my new clematis vine, carefully transported from my Mom's house.  I have killed every single one of these I've ever had, but this one likes me!  Since I took this picture a few days ago it has climbed almost completely to the top of that structure.  This bed still needs to be cleaned up a bit, if it ever stops raining.

Yesterday we had some pretty intense thunderstorms during the afternoon, with the worst one kicking up right as I left work.  I have to park a good 1/4 mile from my building, and to get back to my car I have to cross our Green.  I like thunderstorms, as long as I can watch them from our covered porch or look out a window at them - I don't so much enjoy them when I'm running across an open area while lightning strikes flash close by.  I got home and my whole little family was napping, so I got to curl up and read and nap with The Mister for a bit (he's on vacation this week).  

And it didn't hurt that Mooch's Joe Corbi's order from school was delivered yesterday, since we ended up napping pretty late.  Threw together a salad, poured a glass of wine, and called it a night!

Have a peaceful weekend, loves!

Underneath my candy shell, I am chock-full of Pagan-y goodness.

Hello all my lovelies.  I don't know what the hellfire has gotten into me, but I am as unmotivated as I could be.  I'm struggling to get through this leeeeettle bit of work I have to get done at work, which may be due to the fact that not of it is pressing and almost no one is there this week.  (Must be nice, faculty!)
Anywho, I have blogged before about Jenna Woginrich's amazing book, Made From Scratch (her blog, Cold Antler Farm, is here)  Be warned before reading - I am now obsessed with homesteading.  Like, am planning to live as MUCH of my land as possible, whether the Mister likes it or not.  Luckily, he is completely on board.
Mister: We are NOT sneaking chickens into our backyard.
Me: You don't love me. *pout*
Mister: No, I don't love getting fined by the city or pissing off our neighbors.
Me: I will only acquiesce if we build another raised bed.  And you have to help me get the other rain barrel ready.  Do you think we could afford solar panels?
Mister, doing this weird head/eye-rubbing thing and turning a funny color: I need a drink.  Did you just use the word acquiesce?  Do you even know how to spell that?
Me: Yes.  (Thank you Dictionary.com)
So YAY on marital harmony and mutual goals.  
One of the amazing points that Jenna makes in her book is integrating re-purposing and re-using into your daily life.  Whenever she needs a new appliance, or furniture or whatever, she heads to a secondhand store.  It struck me as so simple because, duh - #1 it's cheaper, and #2 it's completely green.  With that in mind, I've been stalking our local Goodwill more than I usually do, since I need some updated kitchen stuff.  I am coveting a cast-iron skillet, as well as some big earthenware crocks for storing sauerkraut in, since I have planted a lot of cabbage this year.  I wandered into the book section the other day and spotted a paperback copy of the first Harry Potter book for $1, and hardcover copies of both Cider House Rules and Gap Creek, two of my all-time favorite books, for 50 cents each.  
I was psyched and all but as I left and stomped back to campus the obsessive homesteader voice in my head started up. 
"But if I had chickens I'd have my own eggs, and they could eat the bugs out of the garden, and we could have meat hens so we could have our own fresh chicken, and it would be so fun oh I want them I want them I WANT THEMMM!"
When I looked up and saw this:

So clearly the Universe is telling me to chill the fuck out, I will get my damn chickens eventually.  In the meantime, keep on cluckin'.


I don't know about you but personally if I see one more post on FB about "Easter isn't about chocolate, it's about JESUS!!"  I may lose what's left of my mind.  Add that to dude in a dark suit who walked up to me on the street and attempted to shove a pamphlet into my hand, with no explanation.  When I asked him what it was he said, "It's about the way Jesus died for your sins"  "Oh, umm ... tell him thank you, but I don't need your pamphlet."  It's around every Christian holiday that I want to shut off every form of communication with the outside world, sit in my backyard with my family, and just BE without anyone trying to ram a Bible down my throat or lecture me.  
A few years ago I sent an email forward to the mothers in my extended family on Mother's Day, which was a funny little story about a girl giving her daddy "tea" and he thought it was really cute until he realized the only place she could reach water was in the toilet.  I forwarded it with a message saying, Happy Mother's Day, I love you all and hope you have a day filled with peace and quiet.  Nothing controversial, right?
Sigh.
I had forgotten about my signature quote at the bottom, which was this: 
A living planet is a much more complex metaphor for deity than just a bigger father with a bigger fist. If an omniscient, all-powerful Dad ignores your prayers, it's taken personally. Hear only silence long enough, and you start wondering about his power. His fairness. His very existence. But if a world mother doesn't reply, Her excuse is simple. She never claimed conceited omnipotence. She has countless others clinging to her apron strings, including myriad species unable to speak for themselves. To Her elder offspring She says - go raid the fridge. Go play outside. Go get a job. Or, better yet, lend me a hand. I have no time for idle whining. ~David Brin
The next day I got an email response from my cousin, who is Christian - like, did missionary work on her honeymoon Christian.
I won't bore you with the entirety but the gist of it was, it's cute that you believe in an Earth mother, but that has no basis in reality.  If you would just *read* the Bible, you'd see how much sense it makes to be Christian.  
There were also a few allusions to the idea that my parents hadn't raised me right.  And she ended it all with a quote from Napoleon FUCKING Bonaparte.
Umm, no.
I sat there after reading it and shook for 10 minutes straight.  The only thing in my mind was - why?  Why would you attack me when I was trying to be nice?  Why do you need to make it about MY personal belief system?  And WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DICK???
I waited a day for responding to her, and then responded truthfully - that I loved her and her kids and respected their religion, and the only thing that I asked from her was that she respect mine right back.  That my parents had raised me to be kind, be gentle, and be truthful, thankyouverymuch.  That I had in fact read the Bible - why would she assume I hadn't?  
It went back and forth a few times.  What I said to her in the last (thankfully) email was : The minute you start screaming about your beliefs, people cover their ears and walk away.  But if you LIVE them, if you inspire others, if you get around rhetoric and get back to spirituality, you influence so many other people.  I don't need a book written by man, or a church created by man, to interfere in my spiritual life.  No one tells me what is right or wrong.  I have Christian friends who are some of the most lovely, sweet, gentle souls I have ever met, and they inspire me.  I have Pagan friends who move me with their love of our Earth and each other.  And a lot of other religions.  I'm always baffled by the Christian mindset that you need to convert everyone - really?  How boring.  How about, love everybody.  Forgive everybody, cherish everybody.
So I'm trying not to let the busybodies ruin a perfectly fun weekend with my family.  Cause in our house, it IS about the chocolate.

F%^& Off, Frosty

Seriously, Mother Nature?  You and I have always been such friends.   I particularly enjoy your summer thunderstorms and the hush of snow falling.  But frost?  After my hyacinths have bloomed?  And what is that white stuff drifting across the forecast for Sunday?

Poor hyacinths. They no likey the frost.


In happier news, remember my little chickadee I scored at Goodwill, and the other birdies I was kicking myself for not picking up?

Ta-da! The pileated woodpecker and blue jay were there yesterday. When I got home I decided to look the company up and see what other birds they made - I want a cardinal, since they always remind me of my Grammom. I cannot find a listing for the company anywhere (it is called On Nature's Wing), but I did find a cardinal that was listed for $20! Mine were $3 a pop!! Here are close ups:

Here is my spring altar. I use my windowsill over my kitchen sink, as you can see the sun rises through it every morning. Also here are an antler that Zacky found in the woods, the photo cube of our family Mooch had to do for school that I love, some shells and rocks in a little basket, my mini African violet, my novena candle, and a beautiful amber colored wineglass I found at Salvation Army for 25 cents. In it is one of my first hyacinth blooms.

Thrifting Finds & Other Junk

One of my favorite blogs in the blogosphere, Octoberfarm, features all of Jaz' amazing thrift store finds, and I thought I'd take a cue and show off a few of my most recent purchases.  All were bought at Goodwill - the Mister says I have an addiction - but I love that I can get my shopping fix for under $10.

A little mini chiminea, with it's own stand.  This was $3.  I may try to burn some incense in here with a little bit of self-starting charcoal, or just find a pretty candle for it.

Cool little candle holder, $2.

This little bird was $3, and it's tiny but beautiful.  They also had a blue jay, a pileated woodpecker, and a robin - but this one was my favorite.  I'm hoping there are some left come payday so I can go pick some more up!
Speaking of payday ... we all go through financial crunches, and due to having to have some work done on our car, paying off a loan, etc. we are without a lot of extra cash right now.  I'm taking this as an opportunity to remind myself to consume less and use more.  
I really wanted to blow out eggs and make quiche with the girls the other day, but I got home to 3 eggs and I didn't feel like going out for more, so I improvised.  

I defrosted two chicken breasts (we buy them in bulk at BJ's) and marinated them in leftover buttermilk and rosemary snipped off my hedge.
After about an hour I preheated the oven to 350, then took the chicken breasts and cut a slit in them, then stuffed them with baby spinach and mozzarella.  Then I coated them in panko bread crumbs and crushed a clove of garlic over each.

I baked them for around an hour.  They came out really, really good - although if you use as much garlic as I did, be warned - it was intense!
Speaking of the eggs that didn't get blown out, I did dig out previous years' eggs and put together my little wreath.
I started with a grapevine wreath I got at Goodwill for $1 a long time ago, which I had glued these little pods onto to look like flowers.  This was one of those projects that sounded good in my head, but I didn't like the way it turned out - so I had stuck it in the garage and forgot about it, until I thought of the wreath-egg project.

I used a hot glue gun to attach the eggs.  

When I attached the first few I thought, "Meh" but I love the way it turned out.  It's hanging on our front door, with our hyacinths blooming in the beds on either side.

This egg we dyed last year by laying a fern leaf on it, wrapping it in old pantyhose, and boiling it in a pot with onion skins.  I love this effect!
Be well.