Saturday, October 1, 2011

Lobster Injustice, or Why I Am Now Boycotting Goodwill

First of all, I lost a follower.  Could it be that I have been crap about updating ... perhaps. 

So my good friend Das Bich (that would be The Bitch in German, this is an affectionate term) has got a case of the sads right now.  Her husband, The German, is interviewing for jobs in Germany since he can't find a good one here, and there is a possibility of him moving back. 
Yesterday I went to Goodwill to drop off a bunch of crap stuff I cleaned out of our spare room.  For some reason I walked in the front and then had to walk all the way through the store to get to where you drop stuff off.  And there he was - a 5 ft long stuffed lobster, draped over a toddler bed and staring at me, clearly saying, Buy me, I am only 4 freaking dollars.

1st foot of lobster - $1
2nd foot - $1
3rd foot - $1
4th foot - $1
5th foot - FREEEEEEE!!!!!

This was during my lunch break from work, and I walked over from my building, so I hauled him to the front and paid for him and then told them I would pick him up later.  I mean, what better way to tell a dear friend, "I care about you and support you during this difficult time" by anonymously leaving a giant stuffed lobster on their doorstep?!?!

I dashed back in the car after work to pick him up before picking up Mooch from school.  Front of the store - he wasn't there.  Annoyingly brain-dead employee says someone must have put him in the back - then the manager comes up and says, "No, we sold him.  There was no sold tag on it"
The FUCK??
How do you just sell someones stuffed lobster out from under them?  WHO DOES THAT?
Idiot saleboy apologizes, says "I guess you want your money back", and then offers a badly dressed panda in its place.  Like there could even be a comparison.
This, my friends, is the start of war.

Colleen from Cheap Wine and Cookies won the mystery bug contest, and will be receiving a pretty amazing Halloween themed package from me.  So Colleen, PM me your address, social security #, bra size, 1st grade teacher's name, and if you want to get in on a pretty sweet deal with this Saudi prince who's going to give me a lot of $$$, all your bank info.


  1. You poor thang. I have no idea how such a heinous crime could be perpetrated on Still being able to type after that is well....amazing. LOL
    Lobsters are cool and all but I can't imagine two people wanting one all on the same day...really. But then I like donkeys and turtles so who am I to talk huh?
    I hope you're taking the day to recooperate from the ordeal. Oma Linda giggles

  2. She probably bought it and is going to leave it on your doorstep. ;p

  3. Sold your stuffed lobster??? If I were you I'd file charges. What is wrong with people these days? You go get them, girl. ;-)

    How the hell did I miss your contest anyway? I know bugs. I'd give you my bra size if you asked. ;-) Huge hugs to you, sweet friend.


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