Tuesday, April 17, 2012

If This Blog Was a Baby It Would Have Been Taken By the State By Now.

So neglected, this blog .... sooooo neglected .....

It's become obvious that there will be some changes in my life, that things need to change if I'm going to be truly happy.  Starting towards your dream career at 33 is exciting but also incredibly daunting when you think of just how long it could take.  I refuse to compromise the standards I have for how my children are raised for anything. 
I've talked before about the struggle of being a work outside the home mother.  I'm simply not around my kids as much as I want to be.  My husband is more supportive than most, but there are still implied jabs that I'm not "all about the kids" from him and others.  And you know what?  I never thought I would work after I had kids.  But things change and we are in a position where I need to work.  And now I will most likely be switching departments with guidelines that I have to go full time within the next two years.  These days it's more likely that both spouses have to work then one can stay at home. 
And that is NOT our fault.
The argument "well you could just cut back and then you could stay home" makes me see red.  We never go out, I cook for the family 95% of the time, and I'm wearing a dress right now that I bought 7 years ago.  And we still baaaaaaaarely squeak by every month.
My whole thought process on this started when I got back from Seattle.  My husband was rude and obviously annoyed with me when I got back.  Why?  Because I told him that I went out to events and parties the nights that I was there that were directly related to the conference I was helping out with.  Could I have stayed in the hotel?  Yes.  But why would I?  Why isn't it ok for me to enjoy a city that I wouldn't have been able to go to on my own?  Why is it STILL - in 2012 - not ok for a woman's first thought process to not constantly be putting someone else in front of herself?

I have two gorgeous daughters who are going to do big, amazing things.  And one day I'll have to send them out into the world and look on as their hearts get broken and they realize that not everyone has their best interests in mind.  But until then I can show them that it's alright to take care of yourself just as well as you take care of everyone else.  That they are worthy of every great thing that will ever happen to them and to enjoy this life, this one life that they have here to make their dreams come true. 
 Pictures from Easter with their favorite cousins ...


  1. I really hate this battle between stay-at-home moms and work out of the home moms. It's fucking ridiculous. What a personal decision (and sometimes one that is made for us) that NO ONE has the right to critisize.

    Your girls are beautiful and it sounds like you have your ducks in a row. Fuck those naysayers.

  2. I feel your pain, and I wish you luck. I'm excited for your changes. I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom, but now I'm feeling that pull. I still don't want to give up work fully, but I'd love to cut back. Which I can't do until MacGyver finishes school. Which may not happen until the kids go off to college at this rate...

    I get the same jabs from MacGyver when I have to do work related social functions. It's stupid. I would never question him on these sorts of things. Stupid backwards societal expectations.

  3. I feel like there should be a like button on blogspot. Why isn't there one?!?!


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