Before & After

Pretty cool.

Amazingly Awesome.  Didn't see the difference?  Here's a close-up:

Winter is coming, bitches.

It's Fall, Y'all

Remember mystery vine?  The one that sprouted out of our compost bin and creeped through the fence and started growing all over my neighbor's yard?  Because she is the nicest lady ever she didn't get upset, and actually said she was interested to see what it turned into.  When it started sprouting pumpkins I told her she should of course keep whatever pumpkins she got, but she insisted that the girls should have them. For some reason the ones that grew on our side of the fence are a weird shape, kind of butternut squash/pumpkin hybrid, but hers were perfectly formed "faerie tale" pumpkins.
Mooch was so excited to get to pick them.  Who needs a pumpkin patch when you've got a compost bin??

 I wanted a new fall wreath for the front door, but I'm picky.  We've all seen some of the fall themed ones on Pinterest, and some are cute but some are just .... not me.  Let's just say if it can be described as "cute" I'm not going to dig it.
I had this simple wreath frame I picked up at The Thrift Store That Shall Not Be Named

I found fake leaves and yummy smelling potpourri at the Dollar Store.  Brainstorm - some of the potpourri has interesting stuff in it, seedpods and herbs and such, that are really pretty, and this variety smells fall-y without being overpowering.

Of course I ended up being totally sucked in to the fall and Halloween decorations at the Dollar Store, which happens every year even though I swear this year will be different.  I turned a corner, and lo and behold ...

Is there anyone out there who DOESN'T need about a million of these?  I only got 2 and I'm kicking myself.  I want to cover the front of my house in them.  

The Mister came in and took a look and said jokingly, "Now you just need to put a 3rd eye on them!" and then saw how excited I got and immediately said, "That was a JOKE."

"But I'm so going to do that.  Best idea ever.  High five, craft buddy!"

"Don't do it.  People already think you're a witch"

"Too late, seed of brilliance planted."

And after a night of wine consumption and burning my fingers - again- with hot glue and catching up on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (and the horrible realization that I think I don't hate Camille so much now) this is the beast:

 I love it.  I have a Halloween sign that I put up every year that says "Don't Make Me Use My Flying Monkeys" with a pair of witch's boots underneath it, but I do not want to take this down.  

I'm trying to harvest herbs and preserve them now.  (In all my spare time.  HA)  I did pull up my basil plants the other day, and made vegan basil/chive pesto that is pretty amazing.  My chives never flowered this year, which I think is because they were in too much shade, but I still have lots.

 Guess who won't take off her Halloween costume?

I did not measure (I don't really, ever) but here is an approximation:
Vegan Basil Chive Pesto
Approx. 3 c of basil leaves
A good handful of chives
1/4 c macadamia nuts
2 Tb pine nuts
olive oil
salt & pepper
1 clove garlic, crushed
Place macadamia nuts and pine nuts in food processor and process until it resembles coarse flour.  Add basil and chives, pulse until incorporated.  Add olive oil (about 1-2 Tb) salt & pepper to taste, and crushed garlic clove, pulse until completely combined.
And in closing, if you don't follow The Blogess, your life up until this moment has been completely wasted. 

When Good Ideas Go Bad

Sigh.
So much hope for this lil' project, and so much FAIL came out of it.  To re-cap, we use cloth napkins a lot - and we're a bunch of messy eaters, so our napkins that some idiot (ME) bought in white, were stained like a mo fo.  I bleached them - nothing.  Maybe lightened the stains a little, but I didn't want to have to keep bleaching them, so I thought, why not dye them?  They were still in physically good condition, no tears or anything, so why not?  And why not use a natural dye?  Hey, they're already stained from a gazillion tea party spills, why not dye them with tea?
I looked up tea-dying online and found some tips, gathered my materials, and set forth

Here they are before:

 God, fighting back a teabagging joke.

And

Anddddd .... the finished product.  Blergh.

 Didn't cover the stains.  And they now look like they're permanently dirty.  Blergh indeed.
I'm thinking of using them in some kind of crafty way - maybe cloth flowers?  That antique-y look would work there.  Hmm.
And here, something that came out soooo much better.  The finished birdbath in it's new home

 It's a bit shallow, but the birdies don't seem to care.  I spray painted this with Krylon all-weather paint in Hammered Grey, which is kind of fabulous.  In fact, I then looked at this beautiful iron planter that I had, which was great except for the color.  It was painted hunter green, and it was fug.  Hmmm ...

How cute is that?!?!  I'm planting it today with some red,white, and blue flowers that I scored from Home Despot's dumpster, along with two gorgeous hanging baskets.  I mean, seriously - 

 I also got some perennials, and I'm thinking about adding a rain garden to the front of the house to catch the run off from another downspout.
Any plans for the holidays?  I'm convincing the Mister to get over his grill phobia and we're BBQ'ing it, then heading to my aunt's to watch fireworks.
Peace, love, and plants! :-)

Garden Update, Etc.

From this ....

 To this ....

 Yeah.  May I point out again that the only fertilizer ever used in our garden was our own, home grown compost.  
And the mystery plant turned out to be ...

 

Pat yourself on the back if you guessed calendula!  This is blooming like crazy right now.  Plenty for extracts and essential oil.

Favorite Picture of The Week:

 

He he he.  This is a sign that hangs on Mooch's door.  She got mad at me when I took away one of her toys because she hadn't cleaned up her room, and she stomped off and slammed her door, then came out a  minute later and grabbed a pen.  I walked down to see she had drawn a picture of me, put an "x" through it, and wrote underneath "I love Daddy"  She came out in tears saying, "I wrote something mean about you Mommy, but I didn't mean it!  I love you too!"

Least Favorite Thing of The Week:

 This stupid douchebag cat.

 Meet Nunzio.  (Yes, Nunzio.  We have an obnoxious Italian last name, I couldn't resist making him sound like a gangster kitty)

 Nunzio is obsessed with the Mister.  He sleeps on his pillow, he meows at the door when the Mister isn't home.  If he could figure out how to crawl inside the Mister he would happily spend the rest of his life spooning his kidneys.

 The Mister is on midnights (BOOOO) right now.  Stupid cat is beside himself with kitty agony.  Stupid cat has woken me up the last three nights walking around and doing this screech-y howl in protest.  Stupid cat would make excellent hawk food.

Song I Can't Stop Singing:

Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons (I'm obsessed)

 

Sigh.  Dreaminess.
I Can't Stop Eating:
My homemade nut butter! <-, ok the words "nut butter" will pretty much always make me giggle.
Bonzai Aphrodite has instructions here, and you can customize it however you want.  Almond butter was at our Co-op for FUCKING FIFTEEN DOLLARS A JAR, so I decided to make it myself.  Picked up raw unsalted almonds, a huge bag of them for $5.  Added some raw sunflower seeds that I had leftover from making granola, and blended it up.  BA recommends not adding any additional oil, but you have to blend this for a really, really long time, and I had an antsy 2 year old at my feet, so I added a little sweet almond oil to get it to the creamy stage a bit faster.  I have a jar at work to top apples and bananas with, and a jar at home.  Yummo!
What I Made This Week:
OK, I only have the starter pictures.  Crap.  And I *still* have not posted pics of the cloth napkin epic failure.  Will do both tomorrow, I swear.
Anyway, I wanted a bird bath, but I didn't want a plastic one because, well - eww.  And the stone ones started at $100.  No.  
Hmm, I have that leftover all-weather adhesive.  And pots at Home Despot are only $8 each, and the woman at the counter forgot to charge me the $3.99 for the saucer.  

You get to see the finished product tomorrow!
Rant Of The Week:
Other than that smelly boss had me book a whole trip for him yesterday, only to cancel it today - I'm good!

(Courtesy Natalie Dee)
Things I Have To Accomplish This Week:
* Start digging rain garden
* Finish repairing torn screen (trim needs to be nailed back in place)
* Move new desk into place, transfer everything from old desk


Yes, we are re-doing our downstairs.  Zac had a, ahem - "stomach issue" all over the downstairs last year.  We cleaned and steam cleaned and everything else, but when the humidity is bad I still think I can smell it.  We're getting it professionally cleaned, and if that doesn't do it we have to re-carpet.  I also am thinking of stripping the hutch that's down there and refinishing it - you know, in all my spare time.  I want to make it a more comfortable, live-able space for us all.


Finished pics of crafts, both successes and failures, tomorrow.

You Crafty Bitch

This here craft is brought to you with inspiration from Mary Janes & Galoshes, probably my new favoritest crafty blog.  She featured this craft back in May and I was itching to try it.  Her photography is amazing too, so check her out!

So I posted a teaser picture of the before, with all my materials:

 And here is the after!

How cute is that?!?  
This will help me organize a corner of counter in my kitchen that accumulates junk way too regularly.
The pie tins cost a grand total of $2.50, the glass bird was $1, and the glass candlesticks were 2 for $1.  OK, so I had to buy some heavy-duty glue to assemble ($4 at AC Moore) but since it was already put to use repairing a broken Polly Pocket figurine and fixing a headband, well worth it.  The all-surfaces spray paint I had leftover from a shelf that I refinished (but if you had to buy it, it's around $4 a can).  
To start I scrubbed everything down and wiped it all clean.  Then I laid the bird and the two candlesticks in a paint tray, took them outside, and sprayed them and rolled them around until they were good and coated.
*Warning - the all surface spray paint is extremely sticky and goes EVERYWHERE.  Lay whatever you're spray painting on cardboard, take it outside, and set it on grass to spray it.*
I had to repeat this step the next day to get a good even coating.  The next day when everything was dry, I glued the candlestick into the bottom pie tin, glued the next pie tin to the top of that candlestick, and repeated with the next layer.  Then I put a jumbo can of tomatoes in the top pie tin to weight it down, and let it dry for 24 hours.  The next day I glued down the bird and again let it dry for 24 hours.

I may duplicate this with some variations to organize my jewelry, which is in a pretty broke-down jewelry case right now.  
And it wasn't until I looked at the bird head-on after being spray painted that I noticed it had some serious wonk-eye going on:

 Hmmmm ...

Thats What She Said

Since I have lots to share and no two things go together, how about I put this in "daybook" fashion, mmmkay?  Should this be a weekly thing?  Anybody anybody?
Favorite picture of the week:

 The minions curled up watching Backyardigans this morning.  Notice the "summer legs".  Every time Butterbean's knees heal, she falls and skins them again.  I swear we don't beat them, these kids are just forever running, jumping, climbing, and talking (the last one - they.never.stop.)


Least favorite thing of the week: Stinkbugs.

If they ruin my garden it's very possible you will find me curled up in the fetal position, crying.  For the love of all things holy, I spent $50 on heirloom seeds ... if I have to quit my job to hand squish these f$#%ers off my plants, the Mister will have to get over it.

Song I can't stop singing: Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones

Do I need a reason for this one?

I can't stop eating: Organic Pink Lady apples, and this amazing Coconut Lime Berry Cake.  If you make it, cut the sugar in half - it does not need an entire cup.  The Mister woke me up Saturday morning and requested this ... if he hadn't gotten up with the kids and let me sleep in, I would have told him to piss off.  But it's so easy and sooooooo good.

What I made this week :  Scrap-fabric flower headbands for Mooch.  She loves headbands, and since The Mister is usually the one getting her ready in the morning, these help her not look like a little hobo.

Rant of the week: I'm sorry, but I cannot get over the bashing Mrs. B took over the whole Circle Of Moms blog contest.  If you missed it, the contest is here (please vote for your favorite blog, whatever it may be!)and Mrs. B.'s blog post about the hoopla is here.  Yes, the bashers have apologized and have been removed from the contest, but I honestly cannot believe the hate spread by a bunch of alleged "Christians".  What an insult to the sweet wonderful Christians I know.  It would take up this entire damn post to cover all the misconceptions about Pagans, but allow me to hit on two that are burning me up right now:

Pagans do not believe in Satan.  Satan is a Christian concept, not a Pagan one.  The horned god that you see represented in Pagan works is the fertility god (just how deer sprout horns in spring when they are most fertile - get it?)

You don't need to pray for our children, and honestly ... isn't that a little disrespectful?  Isn't that implying that our children are in some sort of danger?  If raising your child to respect all forms of life, to take care of our Earth, to spread goodwill, to commit random acts of kindness, and to appreciate beauty every day is putting my child in harms way .. then by all means, pray away.  

And - the most dreaded - Thing I Have To Accomplish This Week:

I have to completely re-work our downstairs playroom/computer room.  I live with 2 clutter bugs and a two year old.  The clutter bugs would sooner chop off their pinkies then throw ANYTHING away ("Why are you throwing away that piece of paper Mooch scribbled on two years ago?  I WANT TO KEEP THAT!"  "Mommy, I need every single McDonald's toy I've ever gotten!  Yes, even the boy ones!")  I bought a few things to get the organizational groove on, and I need to sort and organize a ton of Mooch's school work from the last year, all our books (will I ever really read For Whom The Bell Tolls?  Prolly not.  Sorry, Ernie) and sooo much other crap stuff.  This is especially important now that the weather is heating up - our downstairs in a finished basement and is lovely and cool all summer long, I want to be able to enjoy it and not walk in and want to scream.

^ Connected to this project ... I need to dispose of some poor neglected fish.  Still alive.  I think a 100 lb dog and a cat who thinks he's a dog are enough pets for a little house.  What's the nicest way to do this?  We have a stream nearby, I'm thinking about sending them to live there.  

I'll be back, my lovelies ... here's a tease of a project I've just started ... what could it be? ;-)

Sweaty Betty

I've just done a lunch time mad dash to Goodwill for some treasure hunting, and returned with a bag o' loot!
  Today's temp is hovering in the high 80's, and the humidity is approximately 1 kajillion percent.  The kind of weather where *no one* (I mean me) can possibly look presentable for more than 5 minutes. 

I am sweating like, well ... me in church*  As I walked back with sweat rolling down my face, soaking my hair, and surely making happy lil' smile imprints on my pants below my butt cheeks, I had to wonder : am I a sweaty freak?  Do I do this every year when it gets hot?  I think I may need to lay the blame on genes.  I'm a mutt really, but predominately French, German, and Irish.  Think brisk temperatures, wind-swept tundra, rocky forbidding shores.  Not blazing sun and stifling humidity.  I also burn and then freckle in the sun, so I avoid it if possible.  Right now I have a farmer tan from working in the garden in tank tops - my shoulders and upper back are a deep caramel, and the rest of me is fish-belly white.  The lovely shade where you can see all my veins and whether or not I shaved my legs this morning.
No, we are not a hot-weather people ... although I do retain fat very well (making me especially hardy through lean winters), I have broad shoulders (I could probably pull a plow after the horse gets tired), and I do possess the famous child bearing hips.  Thanks ancestors.
Oh, and the fabulous treasures have me in a crafty mood.  The crafting gods hit me with a fantastic idea on my walk back, and I will be posting about that in days to come.  Stay cool, chickens!

*Disclaimer - the last time I set foot in church, the whole bloody place went up in flames, so this is a hypothetical situation.  

Since I gave you the horf-dorfs ...

Here it is cold and rainy and blergggghhh (that's a fancy technical weather term, don't try and understand) but spring is trying!  Really!

Cherry trees on my walk into my office.  

A little robin who is all like, "I migrated for this?  WTF?"
Speaking of birdies, my fat jar was full of leftover fat in the fridge, so I made suet the other day since the weather was turning cold and I'm trying to make my backyard the most bangin'est  birdy hangout around.  
Start with melting leftover fat in a saucepan until it liquefies completely.  

 Stir in natural peanut butter, cornmeal, rolled oats, leftover nuts if you have them (but they are so daggone expensive, who can afford this?), dried fruit, and cheap birdseed.  I bought some birdseed at Acme that the birds completely shunned, but they have wolfed it down if I include it in suet.  Mix thoroughly, then cool and package.
Package?
Yes, in these - leftover berry containers

Just line them with plastic wrap or wax paper (so the suet doesn't leak out of the holes in the bottom) fill them with suet,

wrap the plastic wrap over the suet, and snap the container shut.  I usually stick mine in the freezer until I'm ready to use them.  This container makes them the perfect size and shape for any standard suet cage.

Remember my post about my backyard flooding issue and the rain gardens?  While trying to find out more about local native plants, I stumbled across a state-sponsored website with a "Backyard Wildlife Habitat" program.  They have a checklist of requirements for your backyard (native plants, no fertilizer or pesticide, rain barrel, compost bin, etc.) all of which we meet, except that they ask that you have a rain garden to manage runoff from your yard.  Yes!!  They will even send someone out from the Cooperative Extension to survey your backyard and discuss plantings with you.  The Mister is already bemoaning the fate of this individual, who I may very well talk into a coma :-)

Thrifting Finds & Other Junk

One of my favorite blogs in the blogosphere, Octoberfarm, features all of Jaz' amazing thrift store finds, and I thought I'd take a cue and show off a few of my most recent purchases.  All were bought at Goodwill - the Mister says I have an addiction - but I love that I can get my shopping fix for under $10.

A little mini chiminea, with it's own stand.  This was $3.  I may try to burn some incense in here with a little bit of self-starting charcoal, or just find a pretty candle for it.

Cool little candle holder, $2.

This little bird was $3, and it's tiny but beautiful.  They also had a blue jay, a pileated woodpecker, and a robin - but this one was my favorite.  I'm hoping there are some left come payday so I can go pick some more up!
Speaking of payday ... we all go through financial crunches, and due to having to have some work done on our car, paying off a loan, etc. we are without a lot of extra cash right now.  I'm taking this as an opportunity to remind myself to consume less and use more.  
I really wanted to blow out eggs and make quiche with the girls the other day, but I got home to 3 eggs and I didn't feel like going out for more, so I improvised.  

I defrosted two chicken breasts (we buy them in bulk at BJ's) and marinated them in leftover buttermilk and rosemary snipped off my hedge.
After about an hour I preheated the oven to 350, then took the chicken breasts and cut a slit in them, then stuffed them with baby spinach and mozzarella.  Then I coated them in panko bread crumbs and crushed a clove of garlic over each.

I baked them for around an hour.  They came out really, really good - although if you use as much garlic as I did, be warned - it was intense!
Speaking of the eggs that didn't get blown out, I did dig out previous years' eggs and put together my little wreath.
I started with a grapevine wreath I got at Goodwill for $1 a long time ago, which I had glued these little pods onto to look like flowers.  This was one of those projects that sounded good in my head, but I didn't like the way it turned out - so I had stuck it in the garage and forgot about it, until I thought of the wreath-egg project.

I used a hot glue gun to attach the eggs.  

When I attached the first few I thought, "Meh" but I love the way it turned out.  It's hanging on our front door, with our hyacinths blooming in the beds on either side.

This egg we dyed last year by laying a fern leaf on it, wrapping it in old pantyhose, and boiling it in a pot with onion skins.  I love this effect!
Be well.