Monday, March 28, 2011

And then I was forced to kill him and eat his liver, the end.

It was one of those moments you just look at someone and think, "Who ARE you?"
The Mister and I were watching TV after the kids went to bed the other night and catching up.  I was telling him about a woman in one of my online mom's groups who's husband should be shot, period.  This woman works full time and also takes care of her entire house by herself, takes care of both kids, volunteers - you name it.  Her husband works, comes home, and sits on the couch.  Every weekend (and sometimes during the week) he goes out with his drinkin' buddies and stays out late.  She says the last time she got out of the house on a weekend was her sister's birthday, which she had to ASK PERMISSION TO ATTEND,  and before she left she had to cook a full meal, feed the kids, bathe them and get them ready for bed so this dork could just look at them at some point and say, "Go to bed".
The thing that got to me most about her story was this - her mother told her "As long as he has a job and he doesn't hit you, you can't complain"
Bull.  Fucking.  Shit.
Since the Mister is the antithesis of this loser, I was expecting him  to be as horrified about this as I was.  When I had finished ranting he said, "Well, if that's what she's grown up with then she doesn't expect any different.  You forget women haven't been liberated that long."
"Ummm, women got the right to vote in the 20's, and the womens lib. movement was in the 70's.  You're saying it's acceptable that we're being treated like doormats, STILL, 30 years later?"
"I'm just saying that some women are okay with it.  It's not the norm yet."
"So it will be okay if our girls marry someone who treats them like this?"
"No, of course not.  Of course I want better for them.  Sometimes, though, it's just the way it is"
I fumed for the rest of the night.  I could not believe he wasn't as outraged as I was.  I couldn't believe the minute the doctor said "It's a girl" his outlook had not changed.  We talked about it when he called me this morning and we're still butting head over it - he says I'm taking sides in a non-existent argument, I say he is perpetuating this fuckery and he needs to change his way of thinking.  I even dragged the "S" word into it, and I stand by it.  It took one person who was NOT a slave to see slavery as an evil and wrong practice to start to change the world's thinking on it.  And I say it takes men not afraid to say that treating a woman like a second-class citizen is absolutely reprehensible.  The quote that kept floating back to me was one of my favorites, by Anais Nin:
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."
I say it takes a lion of a man to love a strong woman.  Expect to see more of this on my guest post on Willow's blog tomorrow, at Confessions Of A Country Witch


  1. Honestly, when I hear of those women who do everything while their piece of garbage husbands sit on their ass......I think "why they hell does she put up with that?"

    We teach people how to treat us. Period.

    That woman is just as guilty as that man. There comes a time when we put on our big girl panties, stop bitching and moaning and do something about it. Make some choices.

    I am certainly not siding with your husband and would be equally as pissed off if mine said those things.

    To that end, when I hear a woman constantly complaining about her cheating/gambling/loser/lazy husband I think "then do something about it".

  2. Absolutely! And what frustrates me about this attitude coming from men is it makes it that much harder for a woman in that situation to look around and say (as one of my favorite buttons does) "Fuck this 50's housewife bullshit!"

  3. You go girl! What a crock of shit. Women have got to stop allowing men(or anyone else)to treat them like that. Dark Mother said it perfectly, "We teach others how to treat us."

    Maybe you can empower her with a little toughness. I know this sounds obvious, but sometimes people need reminded that they have a choice.


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