Friday, January 21, 2011

Stupid Cats & Mozzarella Sticks

Yes, these are the two things on my mind this morning.  Because, as I went to leave the house I dashed downstairs to grab my coat only to be greeted by the smell of poo.  Yes - stupid cat strikes again.  We have Tobey - she is around 10 years old, she's fluffy and pretty to look at, but she is seriously deranged.  She meows at walls, refuses to go in the litterbox (and yes, we've tried different litter, bigger litterbox, everything) and loves to vomit on carpet.  She goes outdoors a lot, and I'm secretly hoping one day she finds a nice family who loves her despite her being a pain in the ass and they steal her and keep her forever.  Then we have Nunzio - he is a great cat but has developed some eye wound that refuses to heal.  He is also obsessed with the Mister and if he's home, Nunzio needs to be in the same room or else he will wait at the door and "Mew!  Mew!  Meewwwwww!" until he's let in.

I don't get cats.  I don't get how people have them and think that them being assholes is really cute and "Well, that's just cats!"  I used to like them, before I had kids, and before I adopted the World's Best Dog.  I now have no use for them.

Anywho, the other night before our mad dash to the ER, I made homemade mozzarella sticks.  They are from the Deceptively Delicious cookbook

You know what the deception is in this cookbook?  That bitch claims to have ever made any of these recipes.  Her descriptions of them, and some of the measurements, are completely off.  My SIL also gave me the original cookbook that spawned this one

And it's pretty obvious that Jessica Seinfeld ripped off this lady's idea.  Anyway, with a few tweaks, the mozzarella sticks turned out awesome, and the Mister is now obsessed with them and has requested them twice more.

They contain cauliflower puree.  I got a big head of it, cut it up, and put it in my trusty bamboo steamer.  Do you have one of these?  My mom gave me one last year and I use it constantly.  They are cheap and so useful.  I steamed the cauliflower until it was fork-tender, then pureed it with a little bit of water to make it smooth.  You can divide it up into 1/2 cup servings, put it in individual containers, and freeze.  I use this puree with an egg white beat in when we make fish bites and chicken fingers, and the girls have no clue.  I also mixed two tablespoons into their eggs this morning with some cheese, and it was awesome!  The puree makes the eggs really fluffy.

Mozzarella Sticks

1 overflowing c mozzarella
1/2 c cauliflower puree
1 c panko bread crumbs
1 Tb flax seed meal
1 Tb corn starch
1 Tb sesame seeds
2 Tb olive oil

In a bowl combine the puree, mozzarella, and corn starch.  In a separate bowl combine bread crumbs, flax seed meal, and sesame seeds.  Shape the puree/mozzarella mixture into little logs (hehe) about 2 inches long then roll in the bread crumb mixture.  I found this was easier to do when the puree was cold, the warm puree was difficult to shape.  Lay on a cutting board lined with plastic wrap.  Cover the sticks (I couldn't say log again) with plastic wrap and freeze for 20 minutes.  Then heat the olive oil in a big frying pan, and add the sticks, turning to brown evenly on all sides.  Another thing ol' Jessica left out - coat whatever spatula you're using to turn these with non-stick cooking spray.  The cheese will stick otherwise and all the coating slides right off.  
Let cool on a paper towel lined plate, serve.

Mooch who loves anything with cheese was not so enthusiastic about these, but she is a stinker when it comes to trying new things.  She did however try the blueberry granola bars (with spinach puree) that I made later.  Oh children, how you underestimate your mother.


  1. Have both...use the sneaky chef one at least once a week!

  2. One of our cats is pretty much the same as your crazy one, and the BF would love to throw her out of the window sometimes! (He won't, of course... first of all, he is too much the "nice guy" when things become serious, and second he knows I would rip his head off and put it where the sun doesn't shine... *g*.) Both our cats were raised by my sister after someone had thrown them into the river as tiny kittens, and while the tomcat turned out pretty well, with Ronja the saying that motherless kittens are slightly odd appears to be true. Every other time, she will poo right in front of the three(!!!) litter boxes. She also swallowed a 5feet thread last fall and had to undergo surgery (which cost us my monthly paycheck), and she loves to lick the sweat from the BF's body... - well, I am more a dog person, but I like them nevertheless, and I keep thinking, "They are 3 years old now. It's only... 15 more years..." *lol*

  3. That is awesome! And makes me totally hungry. I have the Seinfeld book, and use it for inspiration, though I have never actually followed any of the recipes.

    I LOVE brownies with spinach puree in them.


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