Friday, April 15, 2011

Things I'm OK Not Being OK With

My mind is just one big jumble this week.  
I rode my bike home from work yesterday and since the Mister and the kiddos were out, immediately changed into my muck-about clothes and dug some more of the garden bed.  If you haven't read Jenna Woginrich's book yet, Made From Scratch, it is amazing (and her blog is here) she has a chapter where she talks about planning her 15ft garden bed and then halfway though digging up the turf she has gone through 2 pairs of gloves and her back feels like it's going to break, and she decides to down-scale.  I wasn't quite that bad - our bed will be about 8'x10' - but now I know why the universe had me wait to start this project.  If I didn't want this so bad that it's driving me slightly insane, I would have definitely given up by now.  I very much wanted to do it all by hand, and it is backbreaking - to pull up the turf, I use a sharp shovel and outline a strip, then work the shovel underneath to loosen it, then get down on my knees and attempt to shake free as much of the soil and worms as possible.  Half of the strips are going into the compost bin, the others are being piled up to become fillers for the rain garden project.  While digging and working the soil I tend to let my mind wander - my Grammom always said if you have a problem, go dig in the dirt.  I have two family members who are dealing with mental health issues, both mothers.  Family members around them are both offering up advice to them of : "Well if you'd just do ____, then this would go away".  It frustrates me to no end.  But then I tend to turn that pointing finger on myself and realize that I send out subtle judgments myself.  While this kind of tumbled about in my brain, something inside me said : You don't have to accept these things completely - it's OK not to be OK with them.

So I've decided to compile a list - a list of things it's OK not to be OK about
1.)  That my husband straight-up ignores household projects.  And I'm not talking about, I would like all my ceiling fans finished in gold-leaf (I don't), I'm talking the handle he bought for the screen door 3 years ago is still sitting on our porch.  I have to motivate him, when no one motivates me - and I'm not OK with that.

2.) The mother who drove her car into a river with 4 of her kids, killing 3 of them.  I don't care how freaking depressed YOU are, don't punish your children.  Bitch could have dropped them off at a fire station and then taken care of herself.  

3.) That a friend I've lost touch with hasn't reached out.  I miss this person immensely.

4.) People who flagrantly abuse the environment and laugh it off.  The ones with the gigantic Suburbans who eat tons of junk food and plop their kids in front of a TV set, and think worms are gross.  A co-worker of mine once referred to a woman we worked with who was like that as "your typical fat American".  

5.) People who use elevators when they don't need to.  See above.  I once almost got into a brawl with a woman at the Smithsonian because she was taking her 3 kids, who had been running around on perfectly good legs, up the elevator while we had to wait with our stroller for the next one.  Same scenario played out at a different museum we went to for a work retreat while we waited for an elevator with my boss, who's in a wheelchair.

6.) That me and The Mister are not clicking right now.  Neither one of us knows quite what is wrong or how to fix it, and we're both annoyed.  

7.) That I can't have chickens!  Really, who would be hurt by me having 3 chickens in a moveable pen in my backyard?  WTH, city bylaws?

I swear my next post will be more upbeat and have some pictures of our garden progress, I just needed to launch this out into the blogosphere.  No more Debbie Downer!


  1. I liked this. It's so liberating to just put out there the things we are okay with not being okay with.
    Good luck with your garden -- we are in similar circumstances there! And I wish you could have chickens.

  2. I so know your pain on the garden plot...i've put in a couple of them and it's back breaking!!! Once its done and everything is planted, its so worth it tho. :)
    And I'm so with you on every single one of the things that its ok not to be ok with. Your thoughts are almost paralelling mine. I had chickens in Minnesota and I miss them so bad!! They all had "old lady" names like dottie and hattie and came when i called them. I sold their eggs at the end of the driveway. I also let them free range and they were awesome!! I keep asking my dad if I can have a couple chickens here lol (we have a resort in florida) but....he just gives me one of his looks.

  3. I totally hear you on all these except number 5. People used to give me a really hard time when I would take the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor of the science building in college. They would make snide comments under their breath "Some people are so lazy."

    You have no idea how much that hurt. I suffer from psoriatic arthritis (which tends to set in during your 20s). On the outside, I looked like a healthy 20 year old. The inside was different. During bad flare ups, I could barely walk, my hips/knees/spine would hurt so much. Add a heavy backpack full of books and you can image the world of hurt I was in. If I had an elevator available, I would take it.

    Anyway, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Sometimes people truly do use elevators when they don't need them. I just wanted to post my own experiences as a reminder that you can't always "see" someone's handicap or illness. That's all.

    Last, I agree. You should totally be able to have chickens! :) The neighbors across the street from me have some. I stare at them when I'm bored of working. LOL.

  4. High five to you, girl. We shouldn't have to be OK with things we are not OK with. The same goes with having to be grateful for things we received but didn't really want to begin with. We have every right to create the life that is best for us and the rest of the world can come with us or remain behind.

  5. Those are all things I'm okay with you not being okay with too ;) Hang in there, sweetie.. this too, shall pass!


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